Crisis Over! Global Fight Won!

We have beaten back the glacier of global warming!

This morning, early, the tip of the new ice age
had reached into our bedroom. I leaped from bed
like an arctic ice worm, wrapped myself in swaddling cloths,
and set into motion our daily-updated plan on how
to deal with the side-effects of global warming,
which is to say, the threat of residential freezing.

The furnace was out.
We had visions of last winter's frozen pipe
and the guyser that graced our lower floor.

I built a wood fire with the rotten firewood
bought ill-advisedly up from warmer southern lands--
that is to say, from Iowa--where it had matured
for twenty worm- and rot-ridden years.
Both garages have space heaters, which I turned on,
together with fans to push the air into the house.

Shawn came, from the gas company,
said he had a new igniter in his truck,
and just like that the ice cracked,
the glacier began to retreat, and Al Gore
began to weep at the glory of it all!

We are good now.
We are never going to leave the house again,
maybe, until we get a signed treaty
out of the Copenhagen summit.

The cost of a global climate treaty,
fairly divided among us, is only about
$180. each, and that can be, and has been,
prorated by a plan that costs just $30. a month,
forever. With that, you get a new igniter.

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