The name, Oregon, Origin Unknown

I shall teach you a lesson:
It is not pronounced, "Orreh-gone".
It is pronounced, "Orreh-gun".

Why?

Because the people who live in Missouri, who cannot leave Missouri,
pronounce it "Miz-oo-ruh", not "Miz-oo-ree".

(I am not sure, but I do not believe that the "Arr-KAN-suz River"
runs though Miz-oo-ruh". Probably through "ARR-kan-saw".)

It is enough to drive a native Warr-shingtonian nearly mad.
Up around Tacoma, we "warshed arr close". If absolutely necessary.
When we were elegant, we went to the "grosh-ree", not the store.

When first I moved to Calih-fornya--which I later had to pronounce--
Schwarzenegger-like--"Calee-fornya" (and I think he is right!),
I discovered salads, and thought that I had an accent. Since then,
I have discovered that everybody has an accent, except me.

I pronounce, "Schwarzenegger", "Arn-old".

The Oregonians who live in their major port-land, do know
how to shape a civilized city. It is like a settled university town
in which the graduates chose to stay and live there, keeping their bicycles
and backpacks and child-suffocation bags, slung over the shoulder.
Restricting the urban spread has raised the price of everything
and created fertile ground for proximity, restaurants, ethnic diversity,
attention to urban transportation, and a total disregard for rain.

It is civilization, not frontier bravado.
It is attention to quality, not quantity.
It is a place where rhododendrons grow.

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