How Not to Talk Dog

(Photo: Kim Klement, USA TODAY Sports)

I do not know much about Antonio Morrison, but I do know that he barked at a dog and got himself arrested.

Antonio is on a losing streak. Last month he is reported to have punched out a bouncer at a night spot, which caused Florida University to say, "Naughty, naughty!", and things like that, and told him to go up to his room and not play football for at least two games. But now he has barked at a dog.

It was not any old dog. It was a police dog. Mr. Morrison is reported to have said the dog woofed first, and that he just replied, but the police do not take kindly to people who talk dog to their dogs. Apparently it got the dog all excited, and when dogs get excited they cannot do their work well, calmly, and dispassionately. Technically, it is something like getting into a pissing contest with a skunk, I guess.

Anyway, Mr. Morrison barked at the police dog, and now the full weight of the kennel has been dumped onto Mr. Morrison. Mr. Morrison lacked tact.

"Diplomacy," someone said, "is the art of saying, 'Nice doggie!', until you can find a rock." Unless you recently slugged a bouncer at a night club. Or unless you say it in a language the dog can understand.

Football at the University of Florida is not ordinary, run-of-the-mill football. It attracts large, strong, bi-lingual players. And it attracts the police.

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