I have been doing what everybody knows we should not do: climbing up (even) a short A-frame ladder and standing on the top of it. Of course it is stupid, but that is an argument that requires a certain amount of intelligence to be convincing.
I am building a garden shed,
or a house for Jao,
or a shrine to Nefertiti,
or a silo to store grain in
during Ben Carson's Years of Plenty,
or maybe just something
to look at in the back yard.
When the big mesquite tree blew down
just behind our house, it took out the back fence.
It tore up the edge of the flagstones.
Our very generous landlord,
who has a penchant for thinking large
and acting decisively, said this was a chance
to rethink what the backyard should be.
The house stands on an acre lot--
that is .4 decare for some of you--
so the yard is just the fenced-in area.
The fence is to keep out javelinas--
that is peccaries for some of you--
and perhaps a snake or two.
Thus, a garden shed is taking shape:
something for an octogenarian to do
who still owns a small A-frame ladder.
The octogenarian has one artificial hip
and one thoroughly calcified hip,
so we are well past the clambering stage, here!
We are at the thoroughly-pondered stage
of ladder climbing: which foot now?
And once up on top: how do I get down?
Will falling hurt more than descending?
My mistake was to build it
during a primary election year.
There was no problem with the fence:
Trump supporters all approve of that.
But the honorable Dr. Ben Carson
has been reading the Old Testament,
and his supporters see corn cobs
and granaries and silos everywhere.
People with good hips
who walk their dogs
stop and ask what I am building
back there, and wonder why
I need a silo if I have no cows,
or whether I know something
about the coming Great Tribulation.
I don't know anything about tribulations!
I just have a ladder that is too short
and a delusion about what I can still do!
I know that someday, Mari will have to call
the Fire Department to come and get me down,
and one of them will ask--testing my sanity--
how I came to know Dr. Ben Carson,
and whether I think we should declare
that we are a King Tut-fearing Nation,
and whether it is wise to allow polytheistic
immigrants, who adore Nefertiti, but not
Jesus or the Yankees or the Boston Patriots.
I will have to think about that.
Especially the part about Nefertiti.
I am building a garden shed,
or a house for Jao,
or a shrine to Nefertiti,
or a silo to store grain in
during Ben Carson's Years of Plenty,
or maybe just something
to look at in the back yard.
When the big mesquite tree blew down
just behind our house, it took out the back fence.
It tore up the edge of the flagstones.
Our very generous landlord,
who has a penchant for thinking large
and acting decisively, said this was a chance
to rethink what the backyard should be.
The house stands on an acre lot--
that is .4 decare for some of you--
so the yard is just the fenced-in area.
The fence is to keep out javelinas--
that is peccaries for some of you--
and perhaps a snake or two.
Thus, a garden shed is taking shape:
something for an octogenarian to do
who still owns a small A-frame ladder.
The octogenarian has one artificial hip
and one thoroughly calcified hip,
so we are well past the clambering stage, here!
We are at the thoroughly-pondered stage
of ladder climbing: which foot now?
And once up on top: how do I get down?
Will falling hurt more than descending?
My mistake was to build it
during a primary election year.
There was no problem with the fence:
Trump supporters all approve of that.
But the honorable Dr. Ben Carson
has been reading the Old Testament,
and his supporters see corn cobs
and granaries and silos everywhere.
People with good hips
who walk their dogs
stop and ask what I am building
back there, and wonder why
I need a silo if I have no cows,
or whether I know something
about the coming Great Tribulation.
I don't know anything about tribulations!
I just have a ladder that is too short
and a delusion about what I can still do!
I know that someday, Mari will have to call
the Fire Department to come and get me down,
and one of them will ask--testing my sanity--
how I came to know Dr. Ben Carson,
and whether I think we should declare
that we are a King Tut-fearing Nation,
and whether it is wise to allow polytheistic
immigrants, who adore Nefertiti, but not
Jesus or the Yankees or the Boston Patriots.
I will have to think about that.
Especially the part about Nefertiti.
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