Skip to main content

Sarah's Grammatical Wall

I hope it changes,
and given that Mr. Trump is in charge,
she might make an appearance covered in gold leaf,
and we might mistake her for a door clapper,
but the word this morning is that Sarah Palin
is not scheduled to speak at the RNC Convention.

Ah, be still, my heart!

As all of us are anxious to admit, I am no politician,
but it seems to me that an appearance by Sister Sarah,
possibly with a turkey on a short leash,
would bring the Convention in Quicken Loans Arena to its feet!

Donald Trump will speak, of coarsely.
It will be great!  Great!  You won't believe how great it will be!
It will be so great it will make your head spin!
Everyone will say how great it will be!  Just wait!
You can count on it being great!

And Mr. Trump's whole family will speak.
His kids will speak.  Several of his wives may speak:
not all of them; only if it was in the pre-nup.
Tim Tebow will be there.  That will be great!
Several Republican Senators will be there, unless their names
have already been taken out of consideration for everything.

All of those kinds of people will speak,
and that will be great,
but we will more-or-less understand them,
but we have to be honest:  nobody can make your head spin
like Sarah Palin when she explains to us
what a moment really means.  That is great!
That is what we really need:  something to keep us busy
for weeks just wondering what she said that brought us to our feet
in sheer amazement at what grammar and syntax hath wrought!
Or not wrought.  Nobody is better at wrought than Sarah!

History shall surely make plain what we owe to John McCain,
and what it was he saw when he took one or two looks at Sarah
and said that she had just what he wanted in a Vice President.
If the equipment in Quicken Loans Arena is really great
it could capture what Sarah might have said had she been invited to speak,
and we could, like turkeys around a feeder, peck away for months
trying to understand what it was she might have said, had she said it.

It cannot be, can it, that she will not be invited to speak for Donald?
Donald needs her!  John McCain needed her.  Lots of people needed her!
There is nothing quite as great as Sarah Palin--as Mark Twain might have said,
diving into a speech on one side of the Arena, and coming up on the other
with a verb in her teeth, scattering thoughts like birdshot at a Turkey Shoot.

Write to Donald Trump!  Write to the Republican National Committee!
Write to your delegate at the Convention, whom you have never met,
who is there to cast a vote for you, and say just how great it would be
to have Sarah Palin speak in prime time as a symbol of how great things will be.

It will make your head spin like a big, beautiful wall with a gaping gate in it,
to be paid for by Canadians who are tired of Alaskans crossing the border
to get into Canada for health care.  Sarah isn't going to be V.P. this time,
but maybe she could be put in charge of walls, and explaining what a wall is.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friends-- My step-father of 35 years died this morning. His name was Conrad Royksund. He was 86 years old. He was born into poverty on a farm near Puyallup, WA. He was the first member of his family to attend college and earned a PhD from the University of Chicago. He paid his way through all of that by fishing in Alaska. He spent his professional career as a college professor. I met him when I was just 3 years old and don't actually have any memories of my life befor e he was in it. He was intimidatingly smart, funny as hell, and worked his ass off. He taught me to meet people with kindness and decency until I was certain they could not be trusted. He taught me to meet ideas with carving knives until I was certain they could. I will remember him as one of the bravest, most curious, and funniest people I have ever met. He left this world with a satisfied mind. We are so grateful. Dan Hubbard
1 comment
Read more

Caliche Busters and Government Work

When I was young and both stronger and smarter than I am now, I put my might and brain to work doing nothing useful, unless it might be thought that hand/foot/eye coordination might come in handy.  Those were skills to be learned and practiced.   I found an iron bar our grandfather had shaped in his blacksmith shop.  He took old car, truck, or wagon axles, and made tools from them for digging post holes.  He sharpened one end to a tip, and the other to a blade.  Washington State, like many places, had a hard layer of soil, probably created by water and limestone, or some such materials, that made digging holes a miserable chore.  The bar chipped through the natural concrete so that a shovel could take it up.   I found Grandpa's iron bar, and since I was young and dumb and strong--or so I thought--decided to punch a hole down to hardpan and ultimate truth.  I knew how to do that.  Raise the bar vertically with both hands, and then slam in straight down.  On the second try, aimi
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sea is Rising

Let us just step back:  two hundred and fifty years ago, or so, the ships of England and Spain had drifted onto a whole new continent, as they saw it, from far north to a savagely cold south; pole to pole, as if there were such things. Millions of people already lived here, some of them still hunters and gatherers; some of them very wealthy, indeed!  Gold and silver stolen from the southern Americas funded Spanish and English dreams. There was land, lots of land, under starry skies above, rich land, and oil and coal and iron ore.  The whole western world learned how to build industries not on simple muscle power, but on steam and oil.  We farmed, too, of course.  All we needed was cheap labor--slave labor from Africa, mostly, so the ships came with slave labor.  Chinese labor built railroad beds where there had been rock cliffs. Europeans, long used to killing each other for good, religious reasons, brought their religious savagery with them.  Even when all they wanted to do w
Post a Comment
Read more