We have a Blue Dog Cat.
You have heard about Blue Dog Democrats.
They are the people who would rather, almost,
instead-of-being Republican, be Democrats,
and their constituency elected them.
Now, in Congress, they know that, back home,
their voters are on the edge of being Republican,
so they dare not be the Democrats they say they were.
That is how Orphan, our cat is.
She is a Blue Dog Cat.
She says she likes me.
She sleeps on our bed.
She snuggles up, and purrs,
and then, suddenly, she remembers
that she comes from a long line
of killer cats, so she bites me!
She does that every time she becomes afraid!
Sometimes I just yelp, and put on a bandage.
The last time, I had to go to the emergency room
for a shot, and a bottle of pills, and a lecture.
But I trust her.
She is on my side.
She purrs and snuggles.
It is just that she might kill me.
I know what the option is:
I might get to her first!
I cannot bring myself to do it.
My name is not Barack Obama,
but I do think of him, and those Blue Dog Democrats.
So my suggestion to Barack Obama
is that he treat those Blue Dog Democrats
like I treat my Blue Dog Cat:
don't quite trust them.
I try to make it clear to my Blue Dog Cat
that if she messes with me,
I am going to whack her upside the head
until she understands that one of us is in charge.
It is working out pretty well.
She really does want to be a good cat,
but she is afraid of her own demons.
She needs a few of those demons
because she is, actually, a bit odd, herself.
"Come on, Orphan! Good kitty!
Does the good kitty want to vote
for universal veterinary care?"
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