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The Last Call

Michele Bachmann wants to be President of the Last Tribulation.  I think making her President would be the Last Tribulation.  


We know we are in the throes of the Last Tribulation because there will be seven last plagues:  Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich, Paul, Romney, and Santorum.  


Not all of the Republican candidates are quite so earnest as Bachmann, and Cain, and Perry, and Santorum, but they comprise a pretty good majority.  But of the whole earnest lot, Michele seems to have the best hearing.  She is hearing the Last Call from the Bar of Eternal Justice, and is rushing to get her order in before the Lord Jehovah Jesus closes down the bar.  She hears the bell, and sees the flashing light, and hears the Final Call.  And she says so!


What are those people thinking?  How could anyone who really thinks that the world is about to come to a crashing halt give a diddly-damn about politics, or the future of Social Security or health care?  Who needs health care if the Lord Jehovah Jesus is coming to lead us to eternal glory?  Are you going to worry about global climate change if your only options are Paradise or Damnation?  


How can anyone who lives in the 21st century really think like a 1st century person?  How can anyone who thinks the end is upon us propose to become President and reform government, or business, or the tax code?  Why?  


It is astounding to hear real live politicians suggest that the answers to our political and social problems are to be found in Nostradamus or Leviticus or Luke.  It is even more outrageous to know that the good citizens of Iowa or South Carolina listen to that stuff.  


How can we propose to put our future into the hands of people who believe that they are ordering the last drink they will ever have before Jesus comes again?  And if the pollsters are right, Jesus isn't going to land in Jerusalem, either.  He is headed for Salt Lake City.  

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