If at first you don't secede, try, try again!. .

We, here in Baja Arizona--you know how contagious all this secession business is--are trying to focus on two things at once, and it is not easy for some of us.

First, climate change is real, and one of the results of that is that the hot places are getting hotter: Ouch! And, second, there has to be some way to put some distance between us and Phoenix. "Phoenix" is a term referring to Jan Brewer, and Joe Arapaio, and a fine and fair focus on political tea in what is still our capitol city. Thus, Baja Arizona (Lower Arizona, as in Baja California).

We lived in Minnesota for a decade, until recently. In Minnesota, "folks" ("folks" are what "people" are, elsewhere) sometimes referred to the state of Iowa as "Baja Minnesota", so I, having once been an Iowan, too, am used to public scorn.

Texas has always pretended to be a nation, and still has delusions of the Alamo, not seeming to understand that one of the reasons why they lost at the Alamo was that Mexicans despised their slaveholding aspirations. Texans don't want slaves,any longer. They just don't want a Black President. They might, though, someday have a Hispanic majority, so maybe, if they wait, they can just put White superiority to a vote, and not have to refortify the Alamo.

When Texas was admitted to the Union, they reserved the right, not to secede (as they sometimes say), but to break themselves up into a number of smaller states. The City of Austin has already suggested that if Texas secedes from the Union, they want to secede from Texas.

There are reports that the panhandle of Idaho is a separate nation, but since no one knows where the panhandle of Idaho is, the reports are not trustworthy. (Texas has a panhandle, too, as do Oklahoma and Nebraska and Florida and Connecticut and Alaska and Maryland, and West Virginia has two of them. Maybe we should put all the panhandles together and try to make something of them; an armed, religious compound, maybe. Sell time-share vacation homes!

In Utah, there is some sentiment among . . . let us say, "alternative lifestyle" communities in the four corners region to snuggle up to like-minded folks in Arizona who might like to honor Brigham Young in multiply-cozy ways.

As you can see, all this Tea Party talk about secession is just more evidence that the Civil War is still being waged.

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