Thank God A'mighty,
the Republicans have learned
their lesson! They are meeting now
to set a new course for the future.
They learned that no Blacks
will vote for them,
and that most Hispanics and Asians
will not, either.
Women find them grotesque,
as they debate the niceties of rape,
and put new batteries in their
vaginal probes.
Their campaign to
make it difficult for known Democrats
to get to the polls worked,
but it made everyone mad.
Bobby Jindal says it is time
for them to stop being
"the Stupid Party",
although Bobby Jindal
might not be the best spokesman
for the way forward.
After the 2008 election,
the Republican strategy,
forged right after that Kenyan--
Barack Obama from Hawaii and Chicago--
took office, thereby tainting
every leftover hope for White Testosterone,
was simple and elegant:
oppose everything Obama wanted!
That didn't work out too well.
Obama wanted health care for everyone,
he wanted women to say what women wanted,
he wanted hard-working immigrants
to have a way to become citizens.
He wanted the wealthy to pay a little more
in taxes, and he said maybe too much war
was too much.
The Republican opposed everything Obama wanted,
in the process alienating women, Blacks, Asians,
Hispanics, the young, the Middle Class, the Poor,
and almost incidentally, scaring domestic
cats and dogs and causing cow's milk to curdle.
But now they have a new plan;
a much more sophisticated plan,
a way forward: they propose to gerrymander
Congressional districts so that when Republicans
get a minority of the popular votes cast,
they can get a majority of the electoral votes.
And then, just for fun, they have turned
their attention, once again,
(or perhaps they have always kept a hand on it)
to women's vaginas. Maybe, they say,
women who have been raped and become pregnant
should be required to stay pregnant
to prove they have been raped.
(Think of it as evidence, not as an outrage!)
Who said the New Republican Party
was not adaptable? Who said they were The Stupid Party?
Who said they were just a party of Old White Men
with racist inclinations and a fascination for fornication?
(This Old White Man did not say that!
He didn't have to.)
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