4ELp 4 T4E CRUSE S4Ip

Gerald Herbert/Associated Press

They didn't deserve to be rescued.

In the first place, it was not necessary to spell out "h E L p" on the deck of the cruise ship: everyone knew they were up to the knees in s**t. We all knew they were peeing into the shower stalls--even before the plumbing stopped working--and that they had been given plastic bags for the sturdier effluent. (I am sorry to say that: it was in all the newspapers.)

But then, when they tried to spell "h E L p", they got it all wrong: the "h" is upside-down, and backwards. They actually spelled something like "4 E L p". "fELp"? "fourelp"?

They are back in port, now. I hope they made the alphabetical geniuses wait until last to get off.

(I know that is probably a botched-up capital H over there on the right, but it looks like a small h upside-down and backwards. What are we rescuers supposed to do? Be typesetters?)

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