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Satchel Paige Advice

I have never thought of myself as a racist,
although it is true that, every once in a while,
I discover that I used to be one.

 I do not think of myself as a religious person, either,
but every once in a while I have one of those, 
"Oh, my God!" moments.  

 That is pretty much what has happened
every time I have discovered that I used to be a racist,
or that I used to be a sexist, or just a general, 
all-around pain in the arse.  

 It is a little like watching the Supreme Court these days.
Watching the Supreme Court trying to think its way
through the thicket of marriage definitions and sexual designations 
is like listening to an entire church choir sing, "Oh, my god!"

 "Never look back!", Satchel Paige advised:  "Something might be gaining on you."

 What usually happens when we come to our, "Oh, my god!" moments
is that something just caught up with us:  we looked back,
and here came our old attitudes, platitudes, and perversities,
catching up with us in broad daylight.  

 Of course we used to think that white people 
were a higher form of life 
than black or brown people!
Of course we used to think that our personal sexual urges 
were the only normal ones, and that the Garden of Eden 
was something like England!  
Of course we thought our religion 
was the only true one, and that God liked us best!
Of course America was where God wanted Adam and Eve to move
once he had slammed the gates to the Garden shut behind them!

 We don't coldly think our way through issues
until we have finally sorted it all out.
We look back, and see what has been gaining on us.
Our racist attitudes have been gaining on us.
Our sexism has been gaining on us, and our bigotry,
and our old accidental hold on political power,
and our unexamined habits of the heart are coming into view.

"Oh, my god!", we say, and we change our minds, 
wondering how we got there where we used to be 
in the first place.  

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