How Evolution and Climate Change Came to Kansas

By a margin of six votes (8-2), there is now both evolution and climate change in Kansas. The Board of Education has spoken with a commanding voice!

Up until now, Kansas did not have climate change. They had only weather; lots of it, much of it very hot or very cold. And even their weather was pretty much something left over from Colorado and Wyoming and Nebraska. But now they have endorsed genuine, long-term climate change.

There are rumblings--pretty much unsubstantiated and cut from whole cloth (I have no idea what that means: it is something dredged up from a very old mind)--that the Board plans to import as much weather as they can from San Diego. Well, that makes sense! I have been in Wichita. San Diego weather is precisely what they need!

And evolution! Do not forget that evolution has now come to Kansas! It will no longer be necessary for God to be blamed for new strains of flu, or for drug-resistant strains of bacteria. Now we can blame it on something that happens naturally. It will no longer be necessary for religious people in Kansas to hold their noses and say that the tornado that took down the barn was an act of God. They will be able to say that when the global climate warms, lots of unpredictable things happen.

I don't know.

There is something comforting about being able to burn coal and blaming God. There is precious little satisfaction in saying the barn blew down by necessity and chance. Better a perverse god than an indifferent act of nature. But I guess those days are gone.

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