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Blood-red Wafers, and Pink Chops

I will tell you why it takes years and years to train a proper priest; high school, and college, and seminary, and internships.  It takes time to sharpen the mind so that it can recognize a miracle when it sees one!


Oh, I know there are denominations that ordain almost anybody who can memorize a few Bible verses, and get all lathered up about sin and degradation, but the major leaguers of the sin and salvation set aren't playing T-ball:  they are versed not only in John 3:16, but in history and literature and philosophy and science.  And miracles.  You have to be able to distinguish a miracle from a common fungus, for instance.  


Right over the hill, here, down by the river side, at St. Augustine's, somebody dropped a communion wafer on the floor during the Mass. That is kind of a serious thing in a church that is accustomed to everyday miracles.  They picked up the wafer, of course, and put it in a very reverent little container with some water.  The idea was to let the wafer dissolve, sort of like it does on your tongue, eventually, after which the dissolution would be poured down a very special drain pipe into the ground.  


The darned thing turned red!  Blood red!  Yowser!  Crucifixion red, I should wager!  


They told the Archbishop, who is a very well-educated man; a kind of authority on the difference between a real, live, blood-red miracle, and . . . , well, who knows what?  Maybe a fungus or a bacteria?  


The Archbishop is looking into the matter.  If this is just a natural thing, the Church does not want to call it a miracle, but if it really, really is a miracle, they would like to be sure.  You don't get to the point where you can tell a miracle from and fungus just by quoting Bible verses and making altar calls!  No, sir!  


The Archbishop is having a qualified biologist look into the matter, and in the meantime, has ordered the  parish priest, who is a pretty well-educated man, himself, to stop talking about what just might be a real, live miracle, if it is not a bacteria.  


There is something comforting about all of this.  A lot of not-so-well-educated church people might just have assumed that the floor was dirty, and made certain that some kid did not put it in his mouth, but there are highly qualified clergy, all around us, who not only can distinguish between fungi and whole wheat wafers, but who know demon possession when they see it, and healing miracles, and lots of things like that.


I am holding my breath, waiting for the verdict, which I will have to admit, is turning me, if not blood-red, at least a little pink in the chops. Probably just a fungus!  Don't assume too much!  

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