Skip to main content

Michele and Her Guy

I am getting used to the idea of Our Belle, Michele Bachmann, becoming President of the United States.  After all, we have to have somebody!  And she would really like to do it.  


What is taking a little more of getting used to--giving me serious pause, if you want the truth--is having Marcus Bachmann as First . . . Guy, I guess.  


I know he can dance:  I have seen him do that.  And he knows how to take government subsidies.  There is that family farm in Wisconsin that has received about a quarter of a million dollars, and Marcus himself has a little business over in Stillwater that takes some of that barbaric government money to train counselors for his counseling business; you know, the one that prays the gay away when it gets too close.  It is one of those churchy things, about hating the sin but loving the sinner.  You get people who have those strange barbaric urges that almost make you dance, but if you drop to a knee, and pinch the bridge of your nose, and pray really hard you can learn to hate the sinner part of you and love the part that prays it away, and maybe grow up and get a government subsidy, even though government subsidies are sinful, too, unless you put them to a good, godly use, such as farming or hating the gay part of you.  


It might seem to be a kind of therapy that could pretty well screw you up, but Marcus says they only use it if people are in self-denial, and really, really want to become normal, like him and Michele, although Michele, for some odd reason, seems to be uncommonly committed to the notion that if you pinch your nose hard enough, a guy ought to be able to straighten himself out.  


They are going to be a really beautiful First Couple, aren't they?  POTUS and FLOTUS?  


No!  That isn't right, is it?  FGOTUS?  "First Guy Of The United States"?  


I feel a prayer coming on.  It makes my nose sore just thinking about it.
.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friends-- My step-father of 35 years died this morning. His name was Conrad Royksund. He was 86 years old. He was born into poverty on a farm near Puyallup, WA. He was the first member of his family to attend college and earned a PhD from the University of Chicago. He paid his way through all of that by fishing in Alaska. He spent his professional career as a college professor. I met him when I was just 3 years old and don't actually have any memories of my life befor e he was in it. He was intimidatingly smart, funny as hell, and worked his ass off. He taught me to meet people with kindness and decency until I was certain they could not be trusted. He taught me to meet ideas with carving knives until I was certain they could. I will remember him as one of the bravest, most curious, and funniest people I have ever met. He left this world with a satisfied mind. We are so grateful. Dan Hubbard

The Sea is Rising

Let us just step back:  two hundred and fifty years ago, or so, the ships of England and Spain had drifted onto a whole new continent, as they saw it, from far north to a savagely cold south; pole to pole, as if there were such things. Millions of people already lived here, some of them still hunters and gatherers; some of them very wealthy, indeed!  Gold and silver stolen from the southern Americas funded Spanish and English dreams. There was land, lots of land, under starry skies above, rich land, and oil and coal and iron ore.  The whole western world learned how to build industries not on simple muscle power, but on steam and oil.  We farmed, too, of course.  All we needed was cheap labor--slave labor from Africa, mostly, so the ships came with slave labor.  Chinese labor built railroad beds where there had been rock cliffs. Europeans, long used to killing each other for good, religious reasons, brought their religious savagery with them. ...

That's all we want: fairness! Not more guns and more war! Fairness!

The five police officers who were killed in Dallas are certainly not the officers who killed innocent citizens. There is more than enough tragedy to go around. "What is happening to our country?", Mari asked this morning. I had no answer.  We do have an answer.  We do not want to say it. There are lots of answers, all of them pertinent. We are a racist society, like most human societies. We are a society in the midst of enormous changes-- social, political, economic--and we do not know what to do about it. We are divided unsustainably into absurdly rich, and an enormous number of crumbling middle class families, and poor. We have guns everywhere; military guns, guns just for killing people, cheap guns, heroes carrying guns into churches and supermarkets, idiots who think guns ought to be allowed in bars and schools and ball games and beauty parlors and political rallies. Our political process is almost useless. There are good people in Congress, but there...