"I'll be with you in apple blossom time.
I'll be with you to change your name to mine. . . ."
That, I heard today, was Tip O'Neil's campaign song. Whether it was, or not, I was struck by the easy assumption that marriage involved changing the woman's name. Of course it did! Then. Not only was the assumption that marriage was between one man and one woman (except in Utah and other places), but that marriage was when a suitor asked the woman (girl)s father if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage, and that the father would "give his daughter away", but that she would--naturally--change her name to that of her new owner.
I suspect that, in this country at least, most women might still "change her name to his", but here I sit, an old turkey indeed, married almost thirty years now to a woman who didn't. Even people who think marriage is under attack, know that some arguments are about old symbols, and not human equality.
A lot of things have changed, just as the names did. Michele Bachmann might sound sweet and traditional when she defends Marcus as the head of their household, but actually she is just an old-fashioned Wisconsin Synod Lutheran. They don't have women in the clergy. They are opposed to same-sex marriages. They heartily endorse men as the heads of households. And so forth, from here to Michele Bachmann. She thinks vaccines cause mental retardation, too.
It was such a nostalgic song! Days gone by! (For most people.) Some . . . some want to be President. One of them is Michele Amble.
I'll be with you to change your name to mine. . . ."
That, I heard today, was Tip O'Neil's campaign song. Whether it was, or not, I was struck by the easy assumption that marriage involved changing the woman's name. Of course it did! Then. Not only was the assumption that marriage was between one man and one woman (except in Utah and other places), but that marriage was when a suitor asked the woman (girl)s father if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage, and that the father would "give his daughter away", but that she would--naturally--change her name to that of her new owner.
I suspect that, in this country at least, most women might still "change her name to his", but here I sit, an old turkey indeed, married almost thirty years now to a woman who didn't. Even people who think marriage is under attack, know that some arguments are about old symbols, and not human equality.
A lot of things have changed, just as the names did. Michele Bachmann might sound sweet and traditional when she defends Marcus as the head of their household, but actually she is just an old-fashioned Wisconsin Synod Lutheran. They don't have women in the clergy. They are opposed to same-sex marriages. They heartily endorse men as the heads of households. And so forth, from here to Michele Bachmann. She thinks vaccines cause mental retardation, too.
It was such a nostalgic song! Days gone by! (For most people.) Some . . . some want to be President. One of them is Michele Amble.
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