It's the jobs thing that confuses me:
not the Steve Jobs thing; the out-of-work jobs thing.
Productivity might be the problem.
People who seem to know say we need to raise our productivity,
so the people who are making things buy a machine
and lay off the people who used to make things.
Without producing any more than the did before,
their productivity rises because they are doing it
with fewer people, and everybody is happy.
Except for the out-0f-work jobs thing.
I remember that, once, in Germany,
I was amazed that there were people with brooms
sweeping the streets and sidewalks clean.
"Why," I asked, "don't you buy some street sweepers?
You know: the machines with rotating brushes?"
They said something about putting people out of work.
I decided the Germans didn't understand productivity.
Maybe they have learned something from us, since.
We seem to have solved the productivity thing.
It is the jobs thing everyone is talking about.
Democrats, especially, have been talking about jobs.
They want to spend money to fix schools and build bridges
and put people back to work. I suppose that will
lower our productivity, but you can't have everything.
The Republicans talk about jobs almost as much
as the Democrats do, but now they say they
don't want the government spending money,
so they want to lay off government workers
because government work is not real work.
I guess that makes sense: if fire fighters and police officers
and soldiers and school teachers aren't real people,
then I suppose those aren't real jobs, either.
It has all been very confusing, but then I got a copy
of our New York Times newspaper, and everything cleared up!
I had gone to our log house in Iowa, early, to work.
(That is my job, although it is a non-paying job, and I am
the one who has to pay to keep me in that job.)
Mari took the newspaper along to coffee, and Joel,
who is a remodeler by profession, remodeled the paper.
The front page showed a picture of Barack Obama
addressing a joint-session of Congress on the jobs thing,
except that Joel had cut out Obama's head and put
John Boehner's head there. He switched Joe Biden's head
somewhere, too, and put Obama's head on what was left
of John Boehner, where it was really needed.
That cleared up everything!
Everybody wants to solve the jobs thing!
The Democrats want to put contractors back to work
building roads and things, even though it will cost money.
But the Republicans only want one job: the one Obama has,
and that won't cost very much at all.
And the best way to get Obama's job is to make him look bad
by refusing to put teachers and veterans and
some of those non-productive factory workers back to work.
Then John Boehner or the Marlboro Man from Texas
or Our Belle or The Mitt can talk to Congress: it will be their job!
Problem solved! I owe it all to Joel!
Sometimes a figurative head transplant is all we need.
People overly-complicate things.
It isn't about spending money and big government!
It is about jobs!
We owe that to Republicans!
not the Steve Jobs thing; the out-of-work jobs thing.
Productivity might be the problem.
People who seem to know say we need to raise our productivity,
so the people who are making things buy a machine
and lay off the people who used to make things.
Without producing any more than the did before,
their productivity rises because they are doing it
with fewer people, and everybody is happy.
Except for the out-0f-work jobs thing.
I remember that, once, in Germany,
I was amazed that there were people with brooms
sweeping the streets and sidewalks clean.
"Why," I asked, "don't you buy some street sweepers?
You know: the machines with rotating brushes?"
They said something about putting people out of work.
I decided the Germans didn't understand productivity.
Maybe they have learned something from us, since.
We seem to have solved the productivity thing.
It is the jobs thing everyone is talking about.
Democrats, especially, have been talking about jobs.
They want to spend money to fix schools and build bridges
and put people back to work. I suppose that will
lower our productivity, but you can't have everything.
The Republicans talk about jobs almost as much
as the Democrats do, but now they say they
don't want the government spending money,
so they want to lay off government workers
because government work is not real work.
I guess that makes sense: if fire fighters and police officers
and soldiers and school teachers aren't real people,
then I suppose those aren't real jobs, either.
It has all been very confusing, but then I got a copy
of our New York Times newspaper, and everything cleared up!
I had gone to our log house in Iowa, early, to work.
(That is my job, although it is a non-paying job, and I am
the one who has to pay to keep me in that job.)
Mari took the newspaper along to coffee, and Joel,
who is a remodeler by profession, remodeled the paper.
The front page showed a picture of Barack Obama
addressing a joint-session of Congress on the jobs thing,
except that Joel had cut out Obama's head and put
John Boehner's head there. He switched Joe Biden's head
somewhere, too, and put Obama's head on what was left
of John Boehner, where it was really needed.
That cleared up everything!
Everybody wants to solve the jobs thing!
The Democrats want to put contractors back to work
building roads and things, even though it will cost money.
But the Republicans only want one job: the one Obama has,
and that won't cost very much at all.
And the best way to get Obama's job is to make him look bad
by refusing to put teachers and veterans and
some of those non-productive factory workers back to work.
Then John Boehner or the Marlboro Man from Texas
or Our Belle or The Mitt can talk to Congress: it will be their job!
Problem solved! I owe it all to Joel!
Sometimes a figurative head transplant is all we need.
People overly-complicate things.
It isn't about spending money and big government!
It is about jobs!
We owe that to Republicans!
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