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Alice in Wonderland Mad Hatter Tea Party

Who are these people who are choosing a Republican Presidential candidate?  


They have Willard Romney, but they don't want him, so they review the rest of the field, one by one.  


"How about the guy with the combover?", they said:  "You know, Donald Trump!"  Donald rose to number one in their estimation, but not for long.  Donald was convinced that Barack Obama wasn't an American.  

And there was Michele Bachmann.  Michele won the straw poll in Iowa, which means that she paid for more delegates to come to the voting barn than anyone else; not a lot more, but some.  "Michele is our leader!" the Republican primary voters said:  "Michele and Marcus and Jesus and our preacher really like Michele!"  But Michele keeps saying crazy things, as if she occasionally came in from another reality.  


Then someone started singing, "The Eyes of the Tea Party are upon you!", and Rick Perry came up from Texas.  "A'm reddy," he said, "to lead the nation to glory and to God just like A'h did in Texas!"  That, of course, became a problem.  "A'h know how to simplify guvviment!" he said.  "There are three things A'm goin' to do!"  Rah't now, he can onny think of one of them.  


And then the Pizza guy said he would like to be the Republican President.  "Yes, sir!" Herman Cain said, "I am the brotha of the Koch brothas by anotha mutha!"  And if that were not damning enough, women started showing up and saying that the Koch brothers' otha brotha kept trying to help them find work, the only way he knew how.  


Now it is Newt Gingrich's turn.  You know Newt!  He is the guy who was so sleazy that the Republicans in Congress got rid of him.  But right now, Newt is leading the Republican polls.  "Well, he is sleazy," the Tea Party folk say, "but he isn't Willard Romney:  you can say that for Newt!"  Yes, you can.  


Of course Newt is not going to last, even if he isn't Mitt Romney.  But the Republicans are running out of goof balls!  They cannot turn to Jon Huntsman:  he is a Mormon, and he says the earth is more than 6,000 years old.  That's two strikes.  Ron Paul doesn't want to be President.  He doesn't even believe there should be a President.  Did I forget Rich Santorum?  Imagine that!


The Republican Primary campaign is not just a joke:  it is a bad joke.  A bad, mad joke!  

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