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Moose in Tucson

We have to change our front door.  

 Jehovah's Witnesses have found our present door and, if we do not change something, will ruin our back yard.  

 You can see that All Suffering will soon end, to be replaced by moose in the garden.  That is to say, Real Suffering is about to begin.  

 As you might surmise, I do not quite understand Jehovah's Witnesses, and all that stuff about Jesus coming again, and dead people getting up to play with moose in the garden.  

 It is an odd conjunction, but today's newspaper--incidentally, unless Jesus comes again very soon, there will no longer be newspapers for the New Heaven and New Earth:  newspapers are dying faster than sinners--today's newspaper says that lots of people say they are no longer religious, and that for the first time in a moosetime, protestants are no longer a majority in this country.  Nobody is a majority.  All of us are minorities, but that one of the fastest growing minorities is the people who say they are not religious.  

 You have probably noticed that sin and degradation is on the rise, and that all of the sin and degradation is being committed by people who say they are not religious.  Oh, it is true that wars and rumors of wars have been a favorite pastime of religious people, but we should be quick to say that the best religious wars are between religious groups:  protestants against catholics, christians against muslims, muslims against all those eleven-armed Hindu gods; that kind of thing.  

 And, we should be quick to admit that an odd christian beats his wife, or defends slavery or the subjugation of women, but the very worst crimes against God and humanity are probably committed by people who say they aren't religious.  That only makes sense, doesn't it, if you think that way?  It is something like believing that it might be nice to have a couple of repentant moose in the flower garden, when Jesus comes again.

 I talked to somebody about changing the front door, but I will admit I lied about the reason for wanting to change it.  I just couldn't bring myself to say I wanted a Jehovah's Witness-proof door.  I said I wanted something to keep moose out.  They looked at me as if I were crazy.  I should have said I wanted something nice for when Jesus came again.  They would have understood that, or miracles, or walking on water, or praying for rain.

 But not moose.  Not here in Tucson.  

Comments

  1. Danny HaszardOctober 9, 2012 at 10:22 PM

    Good read,I applaud your blog!

    Jehovahs Witnesses who are they?
    A) They are at your door to recruit you for their watchtower society corporation,they will say that *we are just here to share a message from the Bible*... this is deception right off.

    B) Their *message* creed is a false Gospel that Jesus had his second coming in 1914.The problem with this is it's not just a cute fairy tale,Jesus warned of the false prophets who would claim *..look he is here in the wilderness,or see here he is at the temple*.
    C) Their anti-blood transfusion ban against *whole blood* has killed thousands.
    D) once they recruit you they will *love bomb* you in cult fashion to also recruit your family & friends or cut them off.
    ----
    3rd generation Jehovah's Witness Danny Haszard
    FMI dannyhaszard(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Conrad RøyksundOctober 11, 2012 at 9:35 PM

    You know what you are talking about! However, is it true that Jesus did not return in 1914? Or is he, as some suggest, just lurking about, getting ready for the revealing: probably taking notes on who has been naught, and who has been nice.

    Dan once gave me a bumper sticker that read: "Jesus is coming! Look busy!"

    ReplyDelete

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