Stout Belts and Backstops

The backstop, where the Tucson Old Timers play baseball about 150 times a year, is made of cyclone fence material, and it is evidence that while the Old Timers rarely hit the long ball--those fences are out the other way--they still have intentions gone awry.

The fences bulge out over their beltlines, as if in concert with the Old Timers themselves. It takes at least sixty years to develop a backstop paunch like that, but nobody--Absolutely nobody!--suggests that paunch has anything to do with the Tucson Old Timers minimum age requirement. After all, even if you have a good-sized backstop bulge at fifty, the Old Timers will make you wait ten years to apply for membership.

A baseball weighs about five ounces. The first time a baseball hits a cyclone fence like that, nothing much happens. That is no chicken wire fence! Sometimes, while watching a game, I grab the fence for balance and to get a wire-free view. Then I think about all the foul balls that have hammered that backstop, and I let go of the fence. I have done all my finger amendments at table saws and jointers. It is not my job to protect the backstop.

And, and!, now we know why baseball players wear stout belts.

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