There is good news, friends!
There is going to be enough beer to go around!
How do I know that?
Because the Catholics in charge of the St. Patrick's Day Parade
in Boston and New York have called for a ban on drinking
Guinness, Sam Adams and Heineken beer
because those three beer companies withdrew their sponsorship
of the parade because gay participants in the parade
would not be allowed to march if they used their own banners
indicating that they were gay.
One of the finest traits of my Catholic friends
is that they have never allowed themselves to be handicapped
by the kind of bare bones pietism
that has wizened Bible-thumping Protestants;
dried them up, wrinkled them like prunes,
caused their skin to crack and their humor to shrink.
But, fair to tell,
those same Catholics have been a drain
on the supply of good beer at parade-time!
Like similar bans made by similar holy men,
such as the use of birth control contraptions and chemicals,
the ban will probably be observed in the breach of it,
but every six-pack helps!
Please understand that this small sigh of relief,
exhibited here, is neither a tirade against religion in general
nor a backhanded swat at Catholicism.
I am concerned and relieved only for the balance
of supply and demand of life-supporting activities,
even in parades, also.
There is going to be enough beer to go around!
How do I know that?
Because the Catholics in charge of the St. Patrick's Day Parade
in Boston and New York have called for a ban on drinking
Guinness, Sam Adams and Heineken beer
because those three beer companies withdrew their sponsorship
of the parade because gay participants in the parade
would not be allowed to march if they used their own banners
indicating that they were gay.
One of the finest traits of my Catholic friends
is that they have never allowed themselves to be handicapped
by the kind of bare bones pietism
that has wizened Bible-thumping Protestants;
dried them up, wrinkled them like prunes,
caused their skin to crack and their humor to shrink.
But, fair to tell,
those same Catholics have been a drain
on the supply of good beer at parade-time!
Like similar bans made by similar holy men,
such as the use of birth control contraptions and chemicals,
the ban will probably be observed in the breach of it,
but every six-pack helps!
Please understand that this small sigh of relief,
exhibited here, is neither a tirade against religion in general
nor a backhanded swat at Catholicism.
I am concerned and relieved only for the balance
of supply and demand of life-supporting activities,
even in parades, also.
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