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God's Match

"Find God's match for you!"

That is a line from God's TV commercial.  God has a match for you.  God isn't going to tell you where to find the match--that is his inscrutable secret--but if you send a few bucks to the match company, they will be able to tell you what God wants you to know but is not going to tell you.

I do not want to be misunderstood:  I am in favor of playing with matches, although not to the point of burning things down.  And I understand sometimes it is very difficult to find a match.  But, then, I have never been under the delusion that there is just one, God-anointed, absolutely perfect match for me, and that God isn't going to tell me where it is.  And I have never tried sending a few bucks to God's Match Company to find out who the perfect match might be:  I just bumbled around, and I must say that it worked out really nicely, after a while, too.

Maybe it is because I remember an old comedic line about having looked for "the perfect woman", and having found her, but that she was looking for the perfect man.

I will admit that I am a bit perplexed at God's Plan.  God matched up Adam and Eve, and that didn't work out so well.  God eventually threw them out of the Garden, and slammed the gate shut, telling them not to come back.  But that aside, if the Almighty and All-knowing One actually has thought ahead and made plans about who ought to be matched up with whom, why doesn't God just issue serial numbers, or something like that; you know, Google the number around your neck and see who else has the same number?  The internet is more-or-less free.  There is no need to have to send money to a match company, is there?

I don't know:  maybe it is the divorce lawyers who have made everything so obscure and difficult!  They must have a financial stake in bad matches.  Leave it to a lawyer to complicate God's simple plan for perfect matches.  Pre-nups here, torts there, property settlements and court orders and alimony and a fog of legalese, and pretty soon you find yourself sending money to God's Match Company.  Why not just get it right, and do what God isn't willing to tell you about for free?

And the Lord Only knows why the divorce rate is highest in the Bible Belt of America!  The ways of the Almighty are mysterious, indeed, when the people who talk to God most, and most sincerely, seem to be precisely the people who have the worst matches!  If a Southern Baptist can't get a good fahr going with the Missus, what chance do the rest of us have, who never thought to ask God for directions in the first place?

I do believe that I should stop listening to commercials on TV.  It is destroying what little faith I do have left in divine guidance.  

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