What are we going to do about losing the English language?
All over the world, people who talk other languages, as well,
are learning English and making it their own!
It isn't just overseas that the threat of multilingualism is happening.
Oh, no! Right here in the Land of the Brave and the Home of the Free
people who want to become part of what we are, to become
Americans, take jobs nobody else wants, and learn English.
At first, naturally, things go a little slowly, and sometimes,
as was the case with my own ancestors, they were too old
ever to learn English very well, but they managed to do well enough,
and never, ever, went back to the Old Country to stay.
And it is true that the kids of those newer immigrants learn English
as well, and often better, than the people who grew up here
but who did not really take well to gerunds and adjectives and adverbs--
people like my own favorite, Bert Blyleven, an announcer for the
Twins--but all of that aside, we have to do what we can
to make it clear that in this country we speak English!
Maybe we should have a law that makes it clear that English
is our official language. It might be a good idea to put up posters
in several languages, at bus stops and in grocery stores,
proclaiming that people all over the world are learning English,
and that we are not going to tolerate any movement, from any
quarter, not even from Bert Blyleven, to make . . . Oh, I don't know . . .
French!, or Chinese, or Spanish, or even some concoction
that does not know what an adverb is, even if all what we want to say
is that the Twins have been playing good, or that Delmon Young
took another bad swang.
Tiny Tim Pawlenty agrees with me. He, too, thinks that possibly
we ought to revisit the issue of whether English is being threatened
by all these people who want to come here and learn it, and stay,
and someday run for Governor of the Free State of Minnesota
where, as everybody knows, English is spoken in its truest,
and finest, and most beautiful form, don't you know, then?
Please join me! It is not too late to get on the No Nothing Bandwagon!
All over the world, people who talk other languages, as well,
are learning English and making it their own!
It isn't just overseas that the threat of multilingualism is happening.
Oh, no! Right here in the Land of the Brave and the Home of the Free
people who want to become part of what we are, to become
Americans, take jobs nobody else wants, and learn English.
At first, naturally, things go a little slowly, and sometimes,
as was the case with my own ancestors, they were too old
ever to learn English very well, but they managed to do well enough,
and never, ever, went back to the Old Country to stay.
And it is true that the kids of those newer immigrants learn English
as well, and often better, than the people who grew up here
but who did not really take well to gerunds and adjectives and adverbs--
people like my own favorite, Bert Blyleven, an announcer for the
Twins--but all of that aside, we have to do what we can
to make it clear that in this country we speak English!
Maybe we should have a law that makes it clear that English
is our official language. It might be a good idea to put up posters
in several languages, at bus stops and in grocery stores,
proclaiming that people all over the world are learning English,
and that we are not going to tolerate any movement, from any
quarter, not even from Bert Blyleven, to make . . . Oh, I don't know . . .
French!, or Chinese, or Spanish, or even some concoction
that does not know what an adverb is, even if all what we want to say
is that the Twins have been playing good, or that Delmon Young
took another bad swang.
Tiny Tim Pawlenty agrees with me. He, too, thinks that possibly
we ought to revisit the issue of whether English is being threatened
by all these people who want to come here and learn it, and stay,
and someday run for Governor of the Free State of Minnesota
where, as everybody knows, English is spoken in its truest,
and finest, and most beautiful form, don't you know, then?
Please join me! It is not too late to get on the No Nothing Bandwagon!
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