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Snus and Conspiracies

When I was a mere tad, surrounded by Protestants,
people used to joke, unconvincingly, about Catholics
who had guns stored in their basements.  Catholics,
you see, were beholden to the Pope, who was worse
than Italian, having his own state:  The Vatican.
We all knew that, in a pinch, or panic, the allegiance
of Catholics was more to their church than to USA.

"How," people used to say to convince themselves,
"can people have allegiance to two nations?"
We all knew the answer to that:  we weren't stupid!

In 1960, I watched my father,who had an admirable
distrust of Catholics, almost as strong as his dislike
for everything else except snus and pickled herring,
go through a personal civil war, having to choose between
a Catholic and a Republican for the Presidency.
I don't know who he finally voted for:  he was principled
to the core when his prejudices were at stake.

We have since learned that it was not the Catholics
who had guns in their basements:  it was the Baptists
and Sarah Palin and Republicans and the NRA.
No matter!  We all knew that all Catholics had guns,
never practiced birth control, and were subversive.

Now it is all Muslims who have the guns, and whose
allegiance is to Boshabendu (or somebody with a turban),
whom we have to fear.  I can tell you, from my own
observation of the madding crowd, that Muslims are far
more dangerous than our other ancient subversives,
the Holy Rollers.  (Sorry, that is what we used to say.)

Have we embraced our own stupidity and gullibility, again?
Yes, we have!  The argument is that, if the people who
flew into the Twin Towers were Muslim, than all Muslims
are dangerous pilots.  If one Catholic has a .410 in his basement,
then all Catholics must be armed and ready for revolution.
If one Protestant drinks a case of beer, and beats his wife
and kills the police officers who come to his house, then
all Protestants are drunken, wife-beating, maniacs

The people who want to blame the Muslims in New York
for terrorism, and deny them the right to build a community
center with prayer rooms, just because they are Muslims,
are as ignorant, and as cavalier, about our rights to be
religious in almost any way we want to, as my neighbors were,
and as my father was.  To argue that they have the right,
but that it is in bad form, is to argue that all Irishmen have
to be responsible for whatever any Irishman does. 
(And not even an Irishman is that ethnocentric, even if
he has been taking a wee bit of the odd stuff, for hours.)

Nonsense!  The days are almost gone when we spoke
about our sons or daughters or ancestors bringing shame
on the family.  If the Muslims in Manhattan, who have
long owned a piece of property two or three blocks
from where the Twin Towers stood, are guilty of
terrrorism, then they should be arrested.  But unless we
are ready to deny Southern Baptists from building
churches north of the Mason-Dixon line, because
they once supported the South in the Revolutionary War,
because it would be insensitive to the feelings of
the brave descendents of all Union soldiers, then we
should admit that evil is not the property of any religious
group, and that good sense ought to be claimed
by all of us.  Especially those of us who have heard
this balderdash before. 

It is enough to make one's snus taste bad. 

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