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Born to the Manor

You have undoubtedly seen the headline:


Whatever it was you thought he was clutching, you were wrong!  It was his birth certificate.  

Actually, he let go on the second try.  The first time it really wasn't what he thought it was.  The first one showed that he had been born in Kenya of Mau-Mau parents from Kansas, who are suspected of plotting, since before he was born, to have him grow up and own, and then bankrupt, a casino in New Jersey.

The Donald has had his hair conked.  That kind of hair is not natural on a Muslim kid from Kenya. You do what you have to do!  There is no other reason for it.  

But he finally got it right.  His new, authentic, State-issued birth certificate sort of shows that The Donald is one of us:  just an ordinary guy from Kenya who is dreaming the American dream of becoming Czar.    

Let's be honest:  Sarah Palin isn't going to be President.  She just want to make a shitload of money.  Michele Bachmann does want to become President, but . . . well, there is that business about maybe becoming Pope, instead.  Maybe not Pope.  (All those gays!)  Maybe a kind of Joe McCarthy position.  Huckabee?  God's Angle, Sharron?  And, as Ron Reagan says, "Doesn't just the mention of Tim Pawlenty's name cause your heart to flutter?"  

No!  It has to be The Donald!  He has cleaned up all the rumors about his not being White, or having been born to the lineage of Mohammad.  The Common Touch.  He has it all!

Sometimes, as if by divine destiny, the right person shows up at just the right time with a second birth certificate, showing irrefutably that his parents, Joseph and Mary, gave birth to him just like an ordinary Messiah.  This is probably that moment.
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