Skip to main content

"No, really go, honey!"

That is not Our Belle!
Michele, Our Belle Bachmann, is going to clear up something we have wondered about.  Rumors here in the Sixth Congressional District of Minnesota are that Our Belle, like Athena, sprang fullgrown from the head of Zeus.  That, she says is not true, and if she decides to run for the Presidency, the first thing she will do is to produce a birth certificate!  

Our Belle is just one of us!  Not a goddess!  Probably does not even know Charlie Sheen!

You know why some of us have been worried about where she came from.  She is the person who thinks Democratic Presidents might cause flu outbreaks.  She said the "Hoot-Smalley Tariff" caused the Great Depression.  She said our Founding Fathers worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States (which must have come as a surprise to all the slaves the Founding Fathers kept).  She believes the President and a lot of members of Congress are anti-America.  

This is Our Belle
Michele says that she was born in Waterloo, Iowa, and that she can produce an Iowa birth certificate.  Barack Obama cannot say that.  How could he, having sprung fullgrown from the head of Patrice Lumumba, in Kenya?   She wants to be a legitimate, card-carrying, pro-America, flag-loving, anti-gay-bashing-anti-gay-marriage, Boy-Scout-praying, Tea-drinking, tax-hating, farm-subsidy-recipient of the taxes we hate President of these how-many-are-there-now United States of America!  

(Whoof!  She is deep!  I can hardly recite it!)

Of course, the State of Hawaii did say that Obama was born there, but that is not like having the State of Iowa say it.  And, anyway, Hawaiians will say anything.  That is what New Englanders do.  

All we have with Barack Obama is a man who says he was born in Hawaii, whose father was from Kenya and whose mother was from Kansas, who became President of the United States; just an ordinary American kid who did what our school books say you can do in this country.  


We have Michele to thank for reminding us that being smart and good-looking and hard-working isn't everything!  There is, also, conspiracy theory!  And if you don't have a conspiracy theory, do you really belong in the White House?  

"I will say the only words I know
You'll understand, ma Michelle."

In the immortal words of the Progressive Insurance commercial:  "No, really go, honey!  It's your break!"





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friends-- My step-father of 35 years died this morning. His name was Conrad Royksund. He was 86 years old. He was born into poverty on a farm near Puyallup, WA. He was the first member of his family to attend college and earned a PhD from the University of Chicago. He paid his way through all of that by fishing in Alaska. He spent his professional career as a college professor. I met him when I was just 3 years old and don't actually have any memories of my life befor e he was in it. He was intimidatingly smart, funny as hell, and worked his ass off. He taught me to meet people with kindness and decency until I was certain they could not be trusted. He taught me to meet ideas with carving knives until I was certain they could. I will remember him as one of the bravest, most curious, and funniest people I have ever met. He left this world with a satisfied mind. We are so grateful. Dan Hubbard
1 comment
Read more

The Sea is Rising

Let us just step back:  two hundred and fifty years ago, or so, the ships of England and Spain had drifted onto a whole new continent, as they saw it, from far north to a savagely cold south; pole to pole, as if there were such things. Millions of people already lived here, some of them still hunters and gatherers; some of them very wealthy, indeed!  Gold and silver stolen from the southern Americas funded Spanish and English dreams. There was land, lots of land, under starry skies above, rich land, and oil and coal and iron ore.  The whole western world learned how to build industries not on simple muscle power, but on steam and oil.  We farmed, too, of course.  All we needed was cheap labor--slave labor from Africa, mostly, so the ships came with slave labor.  Chinese labor built railroad beds where there had been rock cliffs. Europeans, long used to killing each other for good, religious reasons, brought their religious savagery with them. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

That's all we want: fairness! Not more guns and more war! Fairness!

The five police officers who were killed in Dallas are certainly not the officers who killed innocent citizens. There is more than enough tragedy to go around. "What is happening to our country?", Mari asked this morning. I had no answer.  We do have an answer.  We do not want to say it. There are lots of answers, all of them pertinent. We are a racist society, like most human societies. We are a society in the midst of enormous changes-- social, political, economic--and we do not know what to do about it. We are divided unsustainably into absurdly rich, and an enormous number of crumbling middle class families, and poor. We have guns everywhere; military guns, guns just for killing people, cheap guns, heroes carrying guns into churches and supermarkets, idiots who think guns ought to be allowed in bars and schools and ball games and beauty parlors and political rallies. Our political process is almost useless. There are good people in Congress, but there...
Post a Comment
Read more