Vintage Bat Guano

This is a copy of Barack Obama's birth certificate; the one that no one has seen since it was released to the public three years ago, unless you looked for it.

It is a magic birth certificate. No Republican has ever seen it, especially no Republican who would like to live in the White House where that Black guy is living now. George Romney is very concerned about not having seen it. Mike Mau-Mau Huckabee has seen it and says it isn't there. (Like a lot of other things The Huck says, that is a little confusing.) Our Belle Michele hasn't seen it either, and doesn't believe it is real because Jesus didn't sign it.

And now Donald Trump is getting nervous about not having seen it, so to calm our fears, he says he released his birth certificate to NewsMax. I have searched the Web for a sight of The Donald's certificate, but I have not seen it.

The Donald has every right to live in the White House. Or perhaps we should say, he has every White to live in the Right House. But first he has to get That Guy who does not have a natural-born right to be so uppity out of Our House!

Personally, I applaud The Donald for saying he has a birth certificate. I mean, either The Donald was born, or someone made him from sticks and stones and air and hair. We have a right to know!

"Bat-crap crazy!" That's what Brian Schweitzer, the Governor of Montana, says about things like this.

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