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Our Lucky Stars

I have been trying to understand why religions are so obsessed with sex, and not just sex, but regulating women's sexual lives.   And maybe it isn't most religions, but it obviously is true of the Judeo/Christian/Islamic religious traditions; those cranky cousins suing each other over the inheritance from Moses.


Suppose that Goddess were a female, instead, and that almost all of the prophets of the Old Testament were women.  Suppose that God sent her daughter to save womenkind, and the spouses of womenkind, and that she chose a nice, quiet, dark-haired guy from Tel-Aviv, who still has not had sex with anyone, to be the father of her daughter.  I guess you could think of it as a kind of honorary erection.  


All of the disciples, of course, would be female.  Maybe they wouldn't call themselves, "disciples"; probably "The Lady's Aid Society".  And just as "Of course!", all of the Priestesses would be female!  Instead of modest, little, white collars around their necks, they might choose a pastel scarf.   Their Madre would undoubtedly still wear those cute, beaded shoes.  


After a while, it would surely occur to them that they, like the Daughter of Goddess, and like the Father of the Daughter of Goddess, should remain celibate.  We know that wouldn't work, because sex is too much fun to be wasted on just a couple of procreations, but The Council of Priestesses and The Lady's Aid Society might decree that men are created more-or-less imperfectly in the image of the Goddess:  she, of surpassing beauty and unblemished secondary sexual characteristics!  Nobody can say that of a dangling external apparatus designed to serve both procreation and waste disposal, however fascinating it might be, otherwise.  


I suspect that the elderly--mostly elderly--members of the Lady's Aid Society (as the council of ruling Princesses of the Church continued to call themselves, inasmuch as they considered themselves to be in an unbroken necklace of authority stretching all the way back to the original twelve Lady's Aiders, might find it kind of fun to think about, and to regulate dicks, and what men could or could not do with them.  No tattoos, for instance!  No rings, or clips.  Keep it shaved.  No playing around, just for fun:  just an occasional procreational obligation, best not to be enjoyed so much as functionally accomplished.   No practice!  No playtime!  No sideways glancing at hired help, or animals, however tempting!  


No condoms, of course!  Condoms would just tempt men to fool around.  It is inevitable that an odd man or two would fool around, and contract a disease that would cause problems for women, too, during those occasional, obligatory procreations, so surgery might be the only solution for that.  But what the heck!  It wouldn't be as if men had been created in the image of Goddess, anyway.  


My guess is that if God were a Goddess, and everything that follows from that little change, The Lady's Aid Society would be trying to get the government to close down men's steam rooms, and ban the production of latex.  Lady's Aiders would be protesting government subsidies for Viagra, and proposing laws to ban Speedos.  Men might have to wear aprons when they appeared in public, and in fundamentalist nations, women might demand that circumcisions be reversed.  Without anesthesia.  There are lessons to be learned!


Oh, it would be a pretty nasty place, if the religious roles of men and women were reversed.  We should thank God!  

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