Magical Mystery Tour

There it was: "Steve Morel's Screw"!

I was sorting through the closet off our computer room, and there on the floor, in plain sight, was Steve Morel's Screw"! We had been living with Steve Morel's Screw for six years.

I showed the envelope to Mari.

"Where did you get that?" she asked. I told her.

"Who is Steve Morel?" I didn't know, but I wondered whether he was a former owner of our house.

I looked up "Chasewood Gates on Chasewood Parkway" in Minnetonka--the name on the envelope. "The detail information of CHASEWOOD GATES is no longer available." It said I should look up other apartments. So apparently Chasewood Gates was an apartment building. Maybe.

I also told her that I was not sure I wanted to touch Steve Morel's Screw, inside the sealed envelope.

But since I had no idea which Steve Morel was our Steve Morel, nor whether his screw was worth the effort, I opened the envelope.

Steve Morel's Screw! It was about as unimpressive as a nail, or a potato.

I do not think I will sort through all the Steve Morels of the world to return his screw eye. If he shows up at the door someday and asks for his screw, I will give him a dollar and send him to Home Depot.

But he had better hurry. We are getting out of this haunted house and moving back to Tucson. Through screwing around. Solving mysteries.

I think I will semi-hide an envelope here, somewhere, labeled, "Conrad's Last Stand". Maybe with a picture of me at the Little Bighorn. If you look it up on the internet, it will say that I am no longer available. And tell you something about Kent Conrad's retirement.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friends-- My step-father of 35 years died this morning. His name was Conrad Royksund. He was 86 years old. He was born into poverty on a farm near Puyallup, WA. He was the first member of his family to attend college and earned a PhD from the University of Chicago. He paid his way through all of that by fishing in Alaska. He spent his professional career as a college professor. I met him when I was just 3 years old and don't actually have any memories of my life befor e he was in it. He was intimidatingly smart, funny as hell, and worked his ass off. He taught me to meet people with kindness and decency until I was certain they could not be trusted. He taught me to meet ideas with carving knives until I was certain they could. I will remember him as one of the bravest, most curious, and funniest people I have ever met. He left this world with a satisfied mind. We are so grateful. Dan Hubbard

Caliche Busters and Government Work

When I was young and both stronger and smarter than I am now, I put my might and brain to work doing nothing useful, unless it might be thought that hand/foot/eye coordination might come in handy. Those were skills to be learned and practiced. I found an iron bar our grandfather had shaped in his blacksmith shop. He took old car, truck, or wagon axles, and made tools from them for digging post holes. He sharpened one end to a tip, and the other to a blade. Washington State, like many places, had a hard layer of soil, probably created by water and limestone, or some such materials, that made digging holes a miserable chore. The bar chipped through the natural concrete so that a shovel could take it up. I found Grandpa's iron bar, and since I was young and dumb and strong--or so I thought--decided to punch a hole down to hardpan and ultimate truth. I knew how to do that. Raise the bar vertically with both hands, and then slam in straight down. On the second try, aimi

The Sea is Rising

Let us just step back: two hundred and fifty years ago, or so, the ships of England and Spain had drifted onto a whole new continent, as they saw it, from far north to a savagely cold south; pole to pole, as if there were such things. Millions of people already lived here, some of them still hunters and gatherers; some of them very wealthy, indeed! Gold and silver stolen from the southern Americas funded Spanish and English dreams. There was land, lots of land, under starry skies above, rich land, and oil and coal and iron ore. The whole western world learned how to build industries not on simple muscle power, but on steam and oil. We farmed, too, of course. All we needed was cheap labor--slave labor from Africa, mostly, so the ships came with slave labor. Chinese labor built railroad beds where there had been rock cliffs. Europeans, long used to killing each other for good, religious reasons, brought their religious savagery with them. Even when all they wanted to do w

SmokeSound

Search This Blog