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Halloween Demons and Pickled Herring

I know that Joel puts a paper bag over his head
when he goes to the door on Halloween. 
He says it scares the kids.  I know that his neighbors
have asked him to put the paper bag on his head
so that he will not scare the kids. 

I did not know that witches have prayed over Halloween candy,
putting a curse on it, which will doom all those kids, and Joel, too.

Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog
by Kimberly Daniels, recently, reportedly, which explained
how nefarious, how damnably defarious, Halloween candy can be!

You see, just opening the door allows the demons to implement
the witches curses, or something sugar-coated, like that.

Pat Robertson ran for President, you know,
but we should all be grateful that he did not succeed
because without him, and other concerned Christians like him,
our kids might be dragging through life with curses on them. 

All of my kids, whose ages now range from thirty to fifty-two,
used to love to go trick-or-treating, and I suppose now they know--
or at least some of them know--why they are dragging through life
with a sweet-tooth, and a thirst for Mountain Dew. 

It grieves me, but what can I do now?
Early on, I paid the dental bills,
but now it is their problem.

I know that people say there are wars, and rumors of more wars,
and I know that while there is enough food, not everyone gets some,
and there is some reluctance on the part of fine, decent citizens
who do not want to pay evil taxes to provide health care or decent
retirement for old people--I know there are concerns like that!--
but I am so grateful for people like Pat Robertson and Kimberly Daniels
who, through god-fearing and demon-fearing networks such as
the Christian Broadcasting Network are doing the Lord's work!

I am!  I cannot tell you how grateful I am! 
Pat Robertson would have been a waste as President.
He has the work of the Lord to do! 

I think. 

Personally, I think I am safe. 
I prefer pickled herring to candy bars. 

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