With the Wool in His Teeth

Once upon a long time ago, in Fremont, California, I knew
an old Methodist clergyman; full of righteousness; full of stories.
He told how he had caught another pastor "stealing his sheep".
"Caught him with the wool in his teeth!", he said.

The next time you see an article about Pope Benedict XVI,
check whether there is a picture, and whether the Holy Father
is smiling. Check whether there is wool in his teeth.

The Anglican Church, as you know, was created when Henry VIII
decided that he had to change wives. Henry had a thing about
changing wives; sometimes by reducing their height by a head.
What had been the Catholic Church in England became
the Anglican Church: The Church of England, without allegiance
to the Pope. Henry thought it was tidier that way; easier.

All these centuries, Anglicans have been explaining that it was not
just Horny Henry that caused the split. It was a reformation!
You know, big changes: a married clergy, mass in English; all that.

Anglicans in the United States are called Episcopalians.
American Episcopalians decided, not without rancor, recently,
to ordain women to the clergy, and to accept gays and lesbians,
even as Bishops. It was a bit more than rancor: it was nasty.

Some of the disaffected Episcopalians picked up the skirts
of their albs and organized themselves under Nigerian Bishops.
Now there is a leap back through the centuries to the time
when the earth was created, and darkness was over the deep!

A good number of Anglicans in England, in a show of solidarity,
hitched up their own albs, and began to flirt with the Pope.
(No respectable Anglican wants to be a subject to Nigerian
bishop, or any other colonial! Anglicans aren't new, you know!)

Now the Pope has stepped in to lend a helping hand.
He says he will make it easy for Anglican priests to become
Catholics, and even stay married, although married Anglicans
will not be able to become bishops. He says he sympathises
with the unrest caused by allowing women to become priests,
and you know how Catholics feel about admitting gays to
the priesthood! Or maybe that is, about admitting that gays
are in the priesthood. Buggering boys is bad enough!

The Pope admits that the Church is struggling a bit in Europe,
and that maybe picking up a few Anglicans will turn things
around. He is firm, though, that Jesus was not a woman,
and therefore women should not . . . oh, you know:
it still is a man's world. Principles are principles!

Yep! Wool in his teeth! And head.

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