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Our Beard and Our Belle

You see, we here in Minnesota are not just a one-horse state.  We have both Michele Bachmann and Mike Beard.

Our Belle, Michele (not that other Michelle!), is busy hunting down anti-americans in Congress, and heaping scorn on that other Michelle (the one with two "l"s, in the White House, who said something just awful about breast feeding; something like it being a good thing, which Our Belle, Michele, said was another sign of a government takeover of women's things, or something).

Our Beard, Mike, from the other side of town (Shakopee),  has not yet expressed an opinion about breast feeding, so far as I know, nor even about anti-americans.  Our Beard is just brimming with good news.  God, he says, has provided us with unlimited natural resources.  "We are not going to run out of anything!"

Old-time Minnesota--the Minnesota we used to have before Our Beard and Our Belle and Tiny Tim Pawlenty--passed a moratorium on building any more coal-fired power plants:  something about air and water pollution and all that left-wing stuff.  Our Beard says his family's farm in Pennsylvania was mined for coal three times, and it is fine now.  Everything was put back together.  The barley is growing.  So we, here in Minnesota, can learn from that.

We aren't going to run out of things, he says.  God will provide.  The destruction will just be temporary.  He offers nuclear-clad evidence for coal mining and other such destructions:  "How did Hiroshima and Nagasaki work out?  We destroyed that, but here we are, sixty years later, and they are tremendously effective and livable cities."

That is the message from both Our Belle and Our Beard:  things will work themselves out!  Coal mining, breast feeding, whatever!  We are not going to run out of the milk of human kindness or coal, or anything else, so long as God is in control.

I don't know how the rest of the nation can compete with us.  We have an unlimited supply of presidential timber up here in the North Woods.  We have ten or fifteen thousand presidential lakes, too, some Superior, some more like swamps and quagmires.  Tim, and Michele, and Mike!

Well, be honest!  How did Hiroshima and Nagasaki work out?  See?

I want to be the first:  Our Beard and Our Belle on the same presidential ticket!  Tiny, eat your heart out!
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