Skip to main content

Our Beard and Our Belle

You see, we here in Minnesota are not just a one-horse state.  We have both Michele Bachmann and Mike Beard.

Our Belle, Michele (not that other Michelle!), is busy hunting down anti-americans in Congress, and heaping scorn on that other Michelle (the one with two "l"s, in the White House, who said something just awful about breast feeding; something like it being a good thing, which Our Belle, Michele, said was another sign of a government takeover of women's things, or something).

Our Beard, Mike, from the other side of town (Shakopee),  has not yet expressed an opinion about breast feeding, so far as I know, nor even about anti-americans.  Our Beard is just brimming with good news.  God, he says, has provided us with unlimited natural resources.  "We are not going to run out of anything!"

Old-time Minnesota--the Minnesota we used to have before Our Beard and Our Belle and Tiny Tim Pawlenty--passed a moratorium on building any more coal-fired power plants:  something about air and water pollution and all that left-wing stuff.  Our Beard says his family's farm in Pennsylvania was mined for coal three times, and it is fine now.  Everything was put back together.  The barley is growing.  So we, here in Minnesota, can learn from that.

We aren't going to run out of things, he says.  God will provide.  The destruction will just be temporary.  He offers nuclear-clad evidence for coal mining and other such destructions:  "How did Hiroshima and Nagasaki work out?  We destroyed that, but here we are, sixty years later, and they are tremendously effective and livable cities."

That is the message from both Our Belle and Our Beard:  things will work themselves out!  Coal mining, breast feeding, whatever!  We are not going to run out of the milk of human kindness or coal, or anything else, so long as God is in control.

I don't know how the rest of the nation can compete with us.  We have an unlimited supply of presidential timber up here in the North Woods.  We have ten or fifteen thousand presidential lakes, too, some Superior, some more like swamps and quagmires.  Tim, and Michele, and Mike!

Well, be honest!  How did Hiroshima and Nagasaki work out?  See?

I want to be the first:  Our Beard and Our Belle on the same presidential ticket!  Tiny, eat your heart out!
.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friends-- My step-father of 35 years died this morning. His name was Conrad Royksund. He was 86 years old. He was born into poverty on a farm near Puyallup, WA. He was the first member of his family to attend college and earned a PhD from the University of Chicago. He paid his way through all of that by fishing in Alaska. He spent his professional career as a college professor. I met him when I was just 3 years old and don't actually have any memories of my life befor e he was in it. He was intimidatingly smart, funny as hell, and worked his ass off. He taught me to meet people with kindness and decency until I was certain they could not be trusted. He taught me to meet ideas with carving knives until I was certain they could. I will remember him as one of the bravest, most curious, and funniest people I have ever met. He left this world with a satisfied mind. We are so grateful. Dan Hubbard
1 comment
Read more

Nice to Run Into You Again

We do not see things in enormous time-frames.  We human beings are fairly new at figuring things out for ourselves.  For instance, some  people today still think of the earth as a newly created thing, perhaps ten thousand years old.  Earth is actually about four-and-a-half billion years old.   That is to say, the earth is 450,000 times older than the Adam and Eve story, and the universe is three times older than that! I recall first hearing that continents were slowly drifting around the earth, and that there quite likely had been several times when the continents were squeezed together.  But people could stand on the edge of their own continents, and not see Africa or Asia getting closer.  It took at least fifty years to figure things out. We called our continent something special. But sure enough, there have been numerous times during several-billion year history of the earth, when supercontinents formed, and eventually drifted off. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sea is Rising

Let us just step back:  two hundred and fifty years ago, or so, the ships of England and Spain had drifted onto a whole new continent, as they saw it, from far north to a savagely cold south; pole to pole, as if there were such things. Millions of people already lived here, some of them still hunters and gatherers; some of them very wealthy, indeed!  Gold and silver stolen from the southern Americas funded Spanish and English dreams. There was land, lots of land, under starry skies above, rich land, and oil and coal and iron ore.  The whole western world learned how to build industries not on simple muscle power, but on steam and oil.  We farmed, too, of course.  All we needed was cheap labor--slave labor from Africa, mostly, so the ships came with slave labor.  Chinese labor built railroad beds where there had been rock cliffs. Europeans, long used to killing each other for good, religious reasons, brought their religious savagery with them. ...
Post a Comment
Read more