How I Almost Won a Nobel Prize

I believe I have invented something like superconductivity at room temperature.

For decades, scientists have known that some materials, cooled to something near absolute zero (0 °K, or -273 °C) provide no resistance to a current. It has to do with the pairing of electrons, or turnips or something, at that temperature. If left undisturbed, a current at extremely low temperature will go on just about forever. There is no resistance.

Our home here i the Twin Cities has a lawn that completely encircles the house. It is a corner lot, which means that, on two sides, our yard abuts neighbors; upwind neighbors. Not just upwind: up dandelion-wind!

They are principled neighbors. One refuses to use chemicals unless they taste good, or the doctor prescribes them, and the other refuses to spray anything that can be mowed down, regularly, every month, usually.

Because we have planted wildflowers, I have to be careful about weed killers, since wildflowers are weeds, so I attack the dandelions with a hand tool.

I have discovered this: if I start at the front yard, clipping dandelion roots down deep, and work my way all around the yard, back to the front, again, there will be precisely as many dandelions smiling at me as when I began.

It goes on forever! From here until eternity, I can keep going around the house, nothing impeding me, nothing slowing down or speeding up, as happy as an angel singing, "I'll be a sunbeam for Jesus", forever. At room temperature!

It is a definition of eternity! Of ineffability!

I would take time off to nominate myself for a Nobel Prize, but that would upset the equilibrium, and nobody ever got a Nobel Prize for losing to dandelions.

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