Would you give up raccoon hunting, just to tell people the world was going to end on May 21, 2011?
I didn't think so. Adam Larsen, from Kansas, has put his mouth where his raccoon used to be. He has temporarily given up coon hunting to spread the gospel of . . . well, what is it, anyway? Of how the world is going to end in about ten days, and how good the coon hunting is goin' to be on the other side, where . . . oh, maybe one-in-twenty of us are going to go, whilst the rest of us go straightaway to hell.
That, you understand, is the good news.
Adam Larsen has been listenin' to Harold Camping, who has been researching this catastrophe for almost a hundred years. Harold got the date wrong onst before, but he freely and friendly admits that he hadn't read part of the Bible carefully enough, which he has done now.
It is May 21, 2011! Mark it on your calendar! For nine of ten of us, it will be hell to pay less than two weeks from now! I hate to admit it, but I am not one of those believers, so I will probably have indigestion and bad dreams from now until eternity.
I have never been able to figure out how those guys from days of yore, who while telling about what had already happened in history so often got it wrong, but knew to the day, and time of day, when the world was going to end a couple of thousand years later, managed to code the information to us today. Inspiration, I guess. Secrets from God. Maybe Tea Party leaves. Coffee grounds.
May 21st. Mark it on your very last calendar. It's a Saturday. Of course, Harold did say, once before, that the world would end in 1994, and he might have been wrong about that, so it might be shrewd not to let the pantry go bare.
If I am wrong, wish me well! Personally, I think Adam Larsen is wrong, too. As I see it, hell is filled with raccoons.
I didn't think so. Adam Larsen, from Kansas, has put his mouth where his raccoon used to be. He has temporarily given up coon hunting to spread the gospel of . . . well, what is it, anyway? Of how the world is going to end in about ten days, and how good the coon hunting is goin' to be on the other side, where . . . oh, maybe one-in-twenty of us are going to go, whilst the rest of us go straightaway to hell.
That, you understand, is the good news.
Adam Larsen has been listenin' to Harold Camping, who has been researching this catastrophe for almost a hundred years. Harold got the date wrong onst before, but he freely and friendly admits that he hadn't read part of the Bible carefully enough, which he has done now.
It is May 21, 2011! Mark it on your calendar! For nine of ten of us, it will be hell to pay less than two weeks from now! I hate to admit it, but I am not one of those believers, so I will probably have indigestion and bad dreams from now until eternity.
I have never been able to figure out how those guys from days of yore, who while telling about what had already happened in history so often got it wrong, but knew to the day, and time of day, when the world was going to end a couple of thousand years later, managed to code the information to us today. Inspiration, I guess. Secrets from God. Maybe Tea Party leaves. Coffee grounds.
May 21st. Mark it on your very last calendar. It's a Saturday. Of course, Harold did say, once before, that the world would end in 1994, and he might have been wrong about that, so it might be shrewd not to let the pantry go bare.
If I am wrong, wish me well! Personally, I think Adam Larsen is wrong, too. As I see it, hell is filled with raccoons.
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